THE THEORY OF SORROW - 2

“Grief is a house
where the chairs
have forgotten how to hold us
the mirrors how to reflect us
the walls how to contain us

grief is a house that disappears
each time someone knocks at the door
or rings the bell
a house that blows into the air
at the slightest gust
that buries itself deep in the ground
while everyone is sleeping

grief is a house where no one can protect you
where the younger sister
will grow older than the older one
where the doors
no longer let you in
or out”

-         ‘The Sky Is Everywhere’ by ‘Jandy Nelson'

I am really happy for those who have understood this poem. If you have not then you needn’t worry even I didn’t understand this poem.

Well, that was a PJ to begin with.

As usual let’s begin with a question.

What Makes Us Sad?

It really is the toughest question to be answered. Because the situations that make you sad may differ from situations that make others sad. So generally it is difficult to answer this question. So what we will do is, we will just go back in time and start thinking. We will definitely get a list of things that made us sad or cry. Let us think………… Ok fine I will help you think.

When you were a baby, unable to speak, you cried when you were hungry, needed to be changed, or thirsty.

When you were a toddler, just learning to speak, you may have cried over your mother or father revoking your toy privileges due to bad behavior.

There may be many more reasons that may have made you cry. But I don’t think we can list it under the reasons for being sad. At that time you may not even know what being sad is.

Let us more a little further, we may get better situations and reasons that may have made you sad.
As you approached and entered into your teens,you may have gotten sad or confused by your changing hormones or being dumped by your first real crush or boyfriend.

Many of you have definitely faced this and have cried when you were all alone. You may even have showed your frustration on innocent friends of yours. You may have done may more things.

Now these are the things that may have made you sad. There may be many more reasons also. But as you grow older and into your senior or golden years, you may cry over the loss of loved ones or dear friends or maybe even because you are realizing your time is coming to a close.

This thinking process was just to make you all know the situations that make you sad. Whatever the reason may be, I just want you all to know that sadness is universal and
it is felt by everyone on different levels and all over the world.

Now let us differentiate ‘sorrow’ and ‘sadness’.

Sadness:
Sadness is emotional pain associated with, or characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, helplessness and sorrow. An individual experiencing sadness may become quiet or lethargic, and withdraw themselves from others. Crying is often an indication of sadness. Sadness is one of the "six basic emotions" described by Paul Ekman, along with happiness, anger, surprise, fear and disgust. Sadness can be viewed as a temporary lowering of mood, whereas depression is more chronic.

Sorrow:
Sorrow is a feeling of sadness. It is one of four interconnected sentiments in the system of Alexander Faulkner Shand, the others being fear, anger, and joy. In this system, when an impulsive tendency towards some important object is frustrated, the resultant sentiment is sorrow.

In Shand's view, the emotion of sorrow, which he classifies as a primary emotion, has two impulses: to cling to the object of sorrow, and to repair the injuries done to that object that caused the emotion in the first place. Thus the primary emotion of sorrow is the basis for the emotion of pity, which Shand describes as a fusion of sorrow and joy: sorrow at the injury done to the object of pity, and joy as an "element of sweetness" tinging that sorrow.

That was again a little theory.

Friends you all may be wondering why this person is trying to make us sad by making us think about the situations that may have made us sad. Reasons are there my friends. And to know that you people must keep reading my blog.

And in the coming posts we will discuss about the impact of sorrow on us, our behavior, tears and the most interesting topic ‘why men can’t cry?’

THE THEORY OF SORROW - 2